That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
These tits shall not be calmed
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
