She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
