She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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