at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Holy shit dude........stairs
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
