I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
