I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
