He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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