apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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