i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
