new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
