The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
