He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
