Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
