The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
