Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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