I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
