I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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