The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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