my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
