all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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