I think I am morally bankrupt
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
