Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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