And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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