So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
