): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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