Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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