I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
