Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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