Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
