just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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