god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
