I got chris browned last night
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
