My friends, they love my intelligence
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
