Porn is love you can see.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
