i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
