She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
