I heard we made out
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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