dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
