Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
