I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
