she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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