After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
