thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
