Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
