Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
