At least make sure they are 18
Why
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
