Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
