Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
