3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
