Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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