I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
