I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
