I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
