It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
