I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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