i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The air was thick with penises
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
