why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
